I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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