Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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