I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
