Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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