I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize