i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
