Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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