how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am naked and annoyed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
