It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you bring me the toilet please
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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