Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
