i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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