So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
