i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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