Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize