Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
