how do flat chested girls get laid?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
