so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
