C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
