Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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