I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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