Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
