With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
