I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
