but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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