when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's like God shit irony all over that family
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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