Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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