god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
