There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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