"it" just moved
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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