the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
