My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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