She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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