They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
