i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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