I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
