shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I will be naked everywhere
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
