just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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