I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
