Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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