I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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