So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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