No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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