I hope mine doesn't look like that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
