It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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