Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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