dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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