Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
