Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize