Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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