I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
