Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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