And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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