i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
