The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
