How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
