I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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