I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
