There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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