How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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