Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
