i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
