so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
