The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I need water and some morals
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
