dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
